Now it makes a tiny bit more sense!

(This is when Christopher and Stoya actually meet.)

Neige Rouge

"I'll never say that I won't ever make you cry." - Liam Gallagher


I get up and figure noon is as good a time as any to run a check on this plate. I get the address and head over there. The place is huge! Who ever tis girl is, she must have cash coming out her ears. Two massive guys guard the entrance. She must have more clout that I thought. Nothing ventured nothing gained. “Excuse me gentlemen I- ”
“Please come in”. A creepy foreign voice beckons me into the shadows, I gotta follow it.
“Excuse me? Ma’am?”
“No need for formality here leibchen, though I do appreciate a gentleman vhenever there is vun to be found. Vhat can I for you you?”
“Um, I’m looking for a woman.”
“Everyone who comes in here is looking for a voman. Vhat kind of voman?”
I’m in a brothel!?! “Um, a specific one, with dark hair and very pale skin. Iridescent blue eyes. Delicate.”
“Ah! You must have seen Stoya! She is only just returning from an appointment. Another girl perhaps?”
“I’d like her please Ma’am.”
“Then vould Herr..?
“Matthews.”
“Vould Herr Matthews care to vait vhile she freshens up? I can send her to you if you like?”
“I’ll just take a room here if that’s alright.”
“Very vell. I trust you are familiar vith the rather steep fees vee have at our establishment?”
“I am. Is credit card ok?”
“Ya, that is just fine. But you pay after. That is company policy vith first-timers. Vee must make sure you are enjoying yourself no? Haha! A drink for you first Herr Matthews?”
“Please. Whiskey, on the rocks. I didn’t get your name by the way ma’am.”
“You can call me Frau Berhardt, leibchen.”
“Ok. Thanks for the drink.” I wonder if the cost of this ‘visit’ is gonna be worth the info. I might be a lawyer but I haven’t got that kinda cash.
“She’ll be ready for you in half an hour.”
“Thank you.”

HALF AN HOUR LATER

I’m waiting in one of their standard suites. She walks in timidly
“Good evening Mr. Matthews.”
“Good evening.”
“So you’re the lawyer?”
“I am.”
“Please help me?!”
“What?”
“I can’t keep doing this! I saw my sister hang herself. I’m so scared I won’t survive this. I don’t know how much longer I can keep it up. You must have some way to help me out of this horrible place?”
She burries hers face in my chest and sobs quietly for a minute. Poor dame. “I’ll do my best to get you out of here. Come on.” I use my cellular phone to call a taxi and we make our escape out the window. We stay in the shadows and make it to the taxi.
“Do you have anywhere you can go?”
“Not yet, but I’ll figure it out.”
“You can stay at mine tonight, I know some people, they can get you out of the area and to a safe place.”
“Thank you, you don’t know what this means to me.”
“Just relax. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

We get to my apartment and Dinah isn’t happy to see she has competition. The girl collapses into my arms, shaking.
“How about a drink?”
“I’d love one. Scotch if you have any?”
“Here.” She gulps it down and stares at the glass. The ice clinks in the glass from her trembling.
“Thank you, you’ve been so good to me.”
“I can’t stand to see a dame cry and not do anything about it.”
“You’re still very sweet.”
“You can take my bed tonight. I’ll bunk on the couch.”
“No, please, you’ve done enough already. You know if she finds you you’ll wind up a trophy on her wall. She collects human skins…” She begins to sob again and I put my arms around her. She finally raises her head and looks at me. I can’t stand those eyes. They break me in a million places and I have to look away. She takes my head in her hands and kisses me. Shyly, like a nervous, adolescent first kiss. I kiss her back, almost as shy.

TOMORROW

The sunlight through the drapes blinds me as I attempt to open my eyes. “Stoya?” She is no where to be found. The only thing I can find of hers is the lipstick she left on the glass… There! On the bathroom mirror. A little pink note.

“Dear Christopher,
I hope you had as much fun as I did last night. Your cat is very cute but she doesn’t seem to like me too much. I hope we will meet each other again soon. If you need to find me, you know where I am. Come up and see me some time.

Stoya.
xxx”

It was all an act. She played me like a chump and I fell for it, hook, line and sinker. Those eyes will haunt me forever! I didn’t even ask her what I came to find out. “Well Dinah, that’s what I get for trying to be a hero. I’ll stick to the law.”
“Meow?”
“Right, breakfast. How do you want your eggs?”

This is a random chapter that I really wanna use but so far has no context.

Neige Rouge


(This is a conversation between Stoya and a lawyer that follows her after one of her meetings with Marshal Carver. They enter a relationship and things go sour. This conversation occurs many months later after their initial meeting.)

"There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness." - Tim Freidman.


Christopher:

The city is freezing in July. Standing on the roof together we look at it's cold, bleak streets, I put my arm around her to stop the shivering.

S: “Some times I think you’re the only one who really knows me.”

C: “Maybe I am. All I know is that I’ve loved you since that night and I haven’t stopped. I won’t stop.”

S: “You will if you ever end up with me.”

C: “No I won’t. Think of the men that have been with you. How many loved you? How many
wanted to share their lives with you?”

S: “Five out of six…but only three out of the five wanted to share their lives with me.”

C: “What does that say about you?”

S: “I hurt the people that give me their hearts.”

C: “You inspire people to give you their hearts in the first place.”

S: “I shouldn’t be allowed to date.”

C: “If anything, there should be more women like you. There aren’t many people that are as understanding as you of so much. That is the common ground that all humans stand on. The desire to just be understood for who they are. That is the battle. You’re the only one that seems to diminish the need to fight.”

S: “What good is it if they all want to be with you when you’re bound to one person. It just hurts them more. You more than anyone should know that. God how I reproach myself for letting you get close to me. I’m like a viper disguised as a kitten.”

C: “You’re being a little harsh.”

S: “I’m being accurate.” I pull her close, so that we’re almost touching.

C: “Being in love is one of the most painful feelings in the world.”

S: “I’m sorry.”

C: “You didn’t let me finish. Being in love is one of the most painful things in the world. But at the same time it’s great to have something in your life that makes you feel so much at once you feel like you’re the luckiest person.”

S: “That’s such a load of shit.”

C: “It’s not. You know it. You know how much love hurts. I’ve seen it hurt you. Do you wish it were different?”

S: “No. I told you: it is futile to regret.”

C: “You have to take steps. Little ones.”

S: “Why won’t anyone just let me sit alone in myself, why do you all need me so much? Why do you need me at all? You and everyone else tells me, till you’re blue in the face that I’m special. How? Where? Show me?! You give me all these reasons as to why but they’re tired and they’re crap! Why honestly?! What’s the real reason you need me?”

C: “I’ve told you already. What do you want to hear?”

S: “Shut up. All I want to hear is “I don’t love you” and “you’re not special”.”

C: “I’m not going to lie to you.”

S: “Isn’t that what people do when they’re in love?”

C: “Stop mocking love.”

S: “Why? It makes a mockery of us, of our rationality. Why not mock it?”

C: “Because it’s the only reason everyone isn’t killing everyone else.”

S: “Bollocks. The only reason we don’t kill one another is because of dependence and you know it.”

C: “I thought I was meant to be the pessimist.”

S: “You are. I’m a realist.”

C: “I thought you were the optimist?”

S: “Only on the outside.”

C: “So you’re faking it?”

S: “Not at all. I really do believe the world isn’t so fucking horrid.”

C: “When there are people like you in it I’m sure it can’t be all horrible.”

S: “But you see, that’s just bias. I should think that I make the world that much worse.”

C: “Oh?”

S: “Indeed. Like T.H White said “Life is such unutterable hell, solely because it is sometimes beautiful. if we could only be miserable all the time, if there could be no such things as love or beauty or faith or hope, if I could be absolutely certain that my love would never been returned: how much more simple life would be”.”

C: “I told you that quote when we first met.”

S: “And it has stayed with me since.”

C: “I want you.”

S: “So do they.”

C: “Not as much as I do. I’ve stuck by you through whatever.”

S: “And I’ve abandoned you.”

C: “But you came back.”

S: “And left again.”

C: “Stop this!”

S: “You stop it. We’re so estranged. I don’t know how we can even stay friends.”

C: “What’s left of Europe…the dream.”

S: “You abandoned it!”

C: “Because I thought I’d lost you.”

S: “You could never lose me Christopher. I’ll always be here.”

C: “Always and never.”

S: “No. Always. I promise.”

C: “You keep making the same promise and breaking it.”

S: “So does that not prove my case?”

C: “No.”

S: “Why the hell not?”

C: “Because even though not being with you is the cause of my misery, not having you in my life at all would be complete devastation.”

S: “I promise I’ll always be a part of your life Christopher. But could you really stand it?”

C: “I’m sure I’ll get past it eventually, but for now, let’s just stare at the city.”

S: “Like we used to.”

C: “Like we always will.”

S: “Promise?”

I look her directly in those beautiful, glassy eyes. “Yes.”